Johanna Cosgrove is the sort of sweetie I always wanted to be. She’s audacious in a way that feels equal parts insult and compliment. She’s someone who is confident and vulnerable, and (most importantly) funny. The kind of person who names their comedy show after their stomach tattoo.
At the beginning of Sweetie, Johanna makes it abundantly clear that she is all about committing to the bit. Whether it’s moving in with your brand-new drop-kick boyfriend, or directing the world’s worst Scottish play, or performing stand-up dressed in head-to-toe scarlet, she believes in seeing things out to the bitter end. As an audience, we get to enjoy the fruits of this sacrifice.
A good comedienne knows how to give and take. Where Johanna gifts us laughs, she also snatches our dignity. In the dark of the theatre, we question our own intelligence, our literacy and our ability to follow along. But make no mistake—if she loses you, it’s your fault, not hers. I would recommend taking a date to this show. Especially if your partner is your cooler, smarter, lesbian girlfriend. At the very least, you’ll have someone worthy to give up as an offering.
And in spite of her high-femme, soft-dom, theatre-kid energy, she lets us know she’s both one of the girls, and one of the ghouls. Between high kicks and slut drops, she invites us into private little poems and incantations for the bog woman. Queer, slutty, witchy and smart? She’s picking at the bones of right-wingers like a vengeful box of KFC.
Johanna also has a sensitive side. When she shares her stories of heartbreak, it’s a stark reminder of the life-changing despair of queer loss. Maybe if I took my first queer love to this show, I wouldn’t still be writing poems about the way they broke up with me. Or maybe I would, and that’s the point.
And yes, as a polyamorous, bisexual, Leo sun, I realise I’ll probably never have a chance with Johanna. But for one night, I got to be negged and wooed by a hot girl in a crop top who knows her way around a saxophone. 10/10, would swoon again.
Featured image courtesy of Basement Theatre.
