Waterview Tunnel song


She opened the chat with “What’s your Waterview Tunnel song?” 

As a beginning to a Tinder conversation, the question had the energy of someone 
whose bio says 
                      Fuck small talk. I want big talk. 
                      Fuck what you do for a living. 
                      I want to know how you’re loving yourself and how you’re growing 
                     as a person 
even though her bio didn’t. 

I didn’t know I was supposed to have a 
Waterview Tunnel song. To be fair, 
this question is a burden I brought upon myself 
by mentioning in my bio that I like singing in the car. 
It’s something to say. You have to say something. 

Surely I have  made more impact on the absurdist aeon of my 
thirty-three years than to have nothing to say about myself in my bio. 

my Waterview Tunnel song is my heart beating so fast 
                      I can no longer hear the world rushing in my ears 
my Waterview Tunnel song is quick breathing just before I have a panic attack 
my Waterview Tunnel song is my car and me conspiring against my ex-husband 
                      to make him break the passenger side window 
                      the first time we drove through it to meet 
                      my most devastating sister at the airport 
my Waterview Tunnel song is the sound of AM radio when it’s underground 
my Waterview Tunnel song is white noise turned all the way up 
my Waterview Tunnel song is me screaming continuously from one end to the other 
my Waterview Tunnel song is ‘Who wants to live forever’ slowed down so that it’s 
                      seventeen minutes long 
my Waterview Tunnel song is their slow breathing when they’ve fallen asleep 
                      and I haven’t yet

But you can’t say that on Tinder.

My Waterview Tunnel song is the sound of my head falling back on a pillow, 
                  lengthened enough to fill the 
                                    interminable gasp of 
                                                      deluge zone after deluge zone.

Featured photo by Matt L. via Greater Auckland.


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