Tonight, Maurice, the moon is cold and wet
like a back-of-the-fridge orange. I left a lemon
in the fruit bowl for too long — sorry. That’s what stinks
of penicillin in the garage. And the banana peel in the
car, too; nearly gone; a ribbon of black.
There’s no meaning to these fruits, as much as the
French symbolists may argue otherwise. I am in bed
sick as a dog and the bedside cabinet is flooded with
light, streetlampy, almost artificial, even though it’s just
the moon, even though something is never just itself.
I dreamed a song last night. And of course I forgot
it, but I remember its beauty like a shell on my teeth.
It was the most glorious piano trio; Maurice,
I think it would have made you proud — if the Lamictal didn’t
make me forget everything and my name in the morning.
The absurd duration of a night, filmy with hours; how should I
know when to sleep and when to dream and when to wake
with longing? The light remembers what it has gazed upon,
and though I don’t remember my flickering eyelids,
I can imagine how they would have been, as I slept.