(Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)

the bright dot moves like
the finger moves like
the pen moves like

train on
		    train on     
kind voice / tell yourself
i'm just passing through

i've seen this colour too
tasted panic / same texture
smooth & choking throat
muscles ache / numb face

my psyche / tosses up rubble
like the sea
smoothed stones / soft driftwood
so well-worn & wholly believed
how strongly i have defended these things

body knows / doubled over
stomach screams
				                    STOP TREATING ME LIKE THIS
but i keep on
tying it in knots    
s / o / r / r / y 

/ find five 
things coloured orange 
in this sterile little room /

painfully / self / aware
i can hear
the click of my therapist's ankles
voices / ghosts / someone wailing  
in the corridor

out by the sunflowers
the hospital hides
its hundred window-eyes
behind yellow petals
/ innocuous /

i have grown here five years
& shrunk too
spun in circles
				                a train on a loop-track

by the time i'm down the stairs
i can feel my hands again
enough to think

oh my / god /
i am walking through 
a precious / fracturing world
& how do i let go?

Featured image courtesy of author.


In a dream, you saw a way to survive, and you were filled with joy.


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