I bind until my ribs crack defeat and my spine curls into a question mark – it punctuates the question my tits started and they start more when my guard’s down and I forget to avoid the mirror and I lose balance on the thin board of my pragmatic okayness One day my princess will come they’ll have a mask and a scalpel they’ll carve off this excess meat feast upon it and wake the next morning with the perky pair of double Ds they’ve always wanted and I’ll have flatness and scars and nipples that slid off in the night I think I have quite a cute butt for a dude was it because it started out as a ladybutt or can a butt ever be just a butt – I think it can in Europe?? I look in the mirror and see only a boy I look at my face reflected in the narcissist’s Zoom tile and see a worn-out acne-riddled middle-aged dykebaby Traps and buff shoulders and weak legs and no abs because of this dummy uterus cells quivering and mashing themselves against skinwall I hold taut in my joints because when I’m too depressed to exercise it’s the next best route to chiseled himbo, veiny arms Johnny Bravo with the tidy hair and the feet too dainty spidery, androgynous fingers swelled lips like fresh dough and who cares if they’re feminine cause they’re good for kissing Pussy that loves to be fucked but can’t bear being looked at I’m hornier than ever but still can’t touch my clit directly and I’ve still only cum twice in my life realising sex was something I did to make people stay My backne is astronomical, my butt hair is blooming pube carpet + thinning hair???? I’m scared But I love my one 10cm long nipple hair (I’ve called her Castor) I cultivate her gently, coo at her before bed What if instead of top surgery I got a boob job? and I was just this dude with a KILLER RACK like I’m talking double Fs spry silicone bouncing against the mesh of my Kevin Durant singlet as I dunk on the dudes down at the school courts Every day I thank my creator for this adam’s apple those bitches used to laugh at but joke’s on them now
Featured photo by Oliver Engel on Unsplash.